I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
