Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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