if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
