Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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