Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
