Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
