It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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