I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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