kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize