Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
