why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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