it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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