who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
