i permit you to call me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
