i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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