wanna go halves on a baby?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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