I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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