Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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