I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
