i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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