susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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