I am puke
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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