Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I had your ass I would rule the world
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
