You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
