I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
