am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
