You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
