I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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