Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
