Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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