Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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