THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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