I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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