Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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