Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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