I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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