just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize