what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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