Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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