bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
