Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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