I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
