dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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