drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
