The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The adults are the big ones right?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
