u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
