Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my phone needs a breathalizer
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
