Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
