I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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