My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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