you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize