I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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