Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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