no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
