We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
