what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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