It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
