Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
