If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
