ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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