let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
