Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
