Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
