I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
