Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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