Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
