My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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