forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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