All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
